Anna and I would love to announce our newest creation; a baby BOY! Anna is 20 weeks along and the due date is in November. Today we had the ultrasound and got to see the full package! The Doctor immediately asked us when we wanted to know what we are having. Anna quickly said, “Now.” Doc pointed out our baby’s pointer and assured us there was no mistakin’ his orientation. Anna had been convinced we were having a boy most of the pregnancy thus far and I had always thought I would have a girl first. I actually picked out a girl name 10 years ago because I have dreamed of a little blonde girl running around in a red dress. I was a bit surprised that it was a boy, but then again wasn’t because I trusted Anna’s intuition over my wacky dreams. It just means that we are due to have a girl down the road someday as well.
Having kids is a big deal. It really makes me feel like… well my age. It’s a whole new level of responsibility. Anna and I have discussed having children since our pre-marital counseling and I have always been the one who was a bit more leery of having babies right away. I felt like I needed to be financially secure first. Or that my business needed to be ‘fully established’. Sometimes when Anna would bring up her desire to start trying I would get uncomfortable and not want to talk about it. Really, I was afraid. Maybe I was afraid of having to grow up. Or maybe I just wasn’t ready to exercise my faith in a new way. Well, we would talk about it and over those months I began to pray that God either change my heart or help Anna wait for awhile. She was praying for me that God would change my heart in His timing; and He did. It was a slow progression, but it happened. As I prayed about ‘when’ I started to see the whole decision differently. I began to realize it wasn’t about me being ready financially or businessly (I would never be ready). It wasn’t about having lots of years together traveling the world making a name for myself.
God began to show me that it was about bringing children into this world to share our joy with who we will fall in love with in such a profound way that we will never be the same. I began to think about my lovely wife. I began to realize that being a mother and homemaker is a big calling on her life. That she was created to make not only my house a home but to make us into a family. I began to see that she is so equipped and ready and that my fear could be a bit of an obstacle to her living out her dreams and calling. I told her last winter that I was ready to start trying, so in the new year we got to making babies!
I’m so thankful that Anna was patient with me. She really wanted ‘kids’ to be our decision, not just hers. She didn’t want me to resent her or blame her in the future when things got tough or tiring. She was determined to allow me to lead our family from the start. Something she practiced before we started dating and something that she is continuing into our married years.